A Bun in the Oven Discovered

Aaron and I knew we didn't want to wait too long before we started trying to have a baby. With a challenging family history and me having been told by a "specialist" that because of my "arthritis" I had developed in my knees a few years ago, the chances of my becoming pregnant were slim. (Side note--turned out I didn't have arthritis, but am actually allergic to gluten, which caused me to have arthritis-like symptoms.) This had made me feel really angry, stressed and sad--in fact, it was one of the two times I cried during that time in my life because of my knees/ankles problems. ANYHOO... Our first plan was to wait a year--but that did last very long! :)

We talked a lot about why we wanted to have a child, our reasons always being the same as each others. We knew that having children was what Heavenly Father wanted us to do. We knew that we would receive blessings by having children. We knew that we loved each other, and wanted to go through the pains and pleasures of having children, and that by keeping our love and relationship strong, we would become a stronger couple. We knew that becoming parents was the kind of hard work we wanted to do with our lives. We knew that there would never be a "perfect" time to start having children. We knew we were blessed with loving and supportive families that would love and help care for our babies. And we knew that Heavenly Father would prepare a way for us to support our children! There are many other reasons, but those, I think, are the major ones.

In April of 2009 (we were married Dec 13th, 2008) we headed down to Manassas, Virginia where Aaron was going to be selling pest control. It was a hard summer for us--lots of issues with the company vice president, and difficulties in the office... I was bored as heck, having no internet or tv (I think I read 17 novels that summer, pretty good for me. lol) Anyways, not the point, or why you're reading this blog! :) During the summer we decided that we didn't want to wait anymore, that we would just let things happen at their own pace, and see what came of it!

It was end of July, beginning of Auguest when I started thinking a lot about babies and being pregnant. We had become good friends with Jackie and Tyler King-- Jackie at the time being pregnant with their first baby girl! I started becoming more interested in her pregnancy, and my mind would constantly drift to thinking about what it would be like to have a baby of my own, what kind of mother I would be, what it would feel like to have something kicking inside you...

I think Aaron and I knew what was happening before we ever found out! If you ask him, he'll let you know that I was becoming more and more moody, jumping on him for small things, like leaving his shoes in front of the door, and getting over upset that he left the wooden spoon in the water! haha :) For me, I was suspicious because of how much I was thinking about wanting to be pregnant.

On Aug. 3rd, I was late. Ever since we got married, I have been like a clock--every 28 days on the dot! (Maybe too much info for some of you, but...deal with it. lol) We joked about my being pregnant, but I think we were both joking while also thinking it was probably true! We were out doing some shopping and stopped in at a book store where they had sale on, selling some photo albums for super cheap! I told Aaron I wanted to get some so when we got pregnant I could do something cute to announce it to my family. Surprisingly, he didn't fight me on it...However, I think he did make some comments throught the day that he didn't want me to get my hopes up that I was pregnant, and then find out I wasn't. (I had done that for like the past 2 months...)

That night, I had crazy dreams about being pregnant. I remember waking up at 4 in the morning, and I knew... everything about me was telling me I was pregnant! I can't really explain the feeling, it was such an overwhelming experience! Without actually knowing-- I knew. We were going to have a baby! Well, I couldn't go back to sleep! How could I? There was so much to think about! I was so excited! I think i did fall asleep for a little while, but as soon as I woke up again, the feelings were there. I can't remember if I told Aaron my dream or not. I can't remember if I told him I thought I was pregnant. I decided that I was going to buy a pregnancy test that day and find out.

Before Aaron left for work in the evening, I asked him to leave his debit card so I could pick up a few things at the store. Now, normally when I ask for this, I get that oh-so-funny joke, "Uhh...I dunno... can I trust you with it?" Hilarious. Anyways, I didn't get any kind of resistance for him this time! He just put it on the table, gave me a kiss, and headed out the door.

Luckily we lives really close to shopping plaza that had a grocery store in it with a pharmacy. I went in and looked at the pregnancy tests--and HOLY MOLY! Are those things expensive! lol I asked the pharmasist which one I should get, and she recommended the cheapest one, since I guess the tests are really all the same, the only difference being HOW the results showed up. Good enough for me! It came with two, so I got it. I bought them--pregnancy testers! Me! haha, it was a surreal feeling, for sure. Then I went over to Michael's, and noticed in their $1 bin a coupon cook for couples--perfect. I even stopped in at a dress store and tried on some maternity dresses! lol Kinda jumping the gun, but I was excited!

Once back at our apartment, I debated with myself between if I should take a test now, or wait until the next day to find out... Aug 4th was our One Year Engagement Anniversary! I wasn't sure if I wanted to find out I was pregnant on the same day, or give it it's own date. I decided to wait until the next morning and take it while Aaron was with me, so I hid the box in my drawer. Half an hour later, the box was with me in the bathroom. I was so nervous, so jittery, but I couldn't wait to find out, and I wanted to surprise Aaron.

So I read the instructions, and seriously! Not 15 seconds had passed when that little blue line appeared. I started at it, and re-read the instructions, then stared some more. I waited the 2 minutes I was told to wait to make sure it was an accurate reading, but nothing changed. What happened next?

Shock. I felt numb, or blank... Then the tears started coming. I was in disbelief! Despite everything I had been feeling, I couldn't believe this was actually happening to me. I was scared! I started to shake a little, so I got into the shower to help calm me down--but I ended up breaking down! The tears were coming fast, and I was sobbing! It's amazing how many millions of thoughts can go through your mind in an instant. What was I doing? How were were going to support a child? Aaron has so much schooling left to do! We have no money! How will I do in the pregnancy/delivery? What kind of awful mother will I be? I'm not mature enough for this--I still think toots are hilarious, for crying out loud! And so on... :)

Anyway, after the shower I was still a bit of a mess, but I tried to dress up and put on make up (I wanted to look as cute as possible for when he came home) and I did a quick cleaning of the house, and got his surprise ready.

When he came home I was sitting at the table and told him I had gotten him something. He sat down and saw the coupon book and flipped through it, and said something like, "Cute, thanks..." And I was like, "Did you read the front??" So he goes to the front and starts reading through the checklist of coupons... 1foot rub, 1 free win of an argument, a night with total control of the remote... He startes to chuckle at the list, then reads, 1 Baby (checked) His smile vanishes. He looks at me, then back at the coupons.. "Really?"... I pulled out the tester and put it on the table in front of him, and told him it was positive... then I started crying again and buried my face in my hands. He came over and knelt infront of me and hugged me, and it was a very sweet moment, and I could feel my love growing for him again because of how he was responding. We talked for a bit, and I started to feel less shocked and scared. Then we went out to celebrate at our favourite restaurant--Chilies! I could tell Aaron was in shock just as much as I was, but I could also see how obviously excited he was, which made me feel more excited!

We decided to wait until we got back to Ontario to tell our families the good news. That was 3 weeks away. We had to really watch ourselves whenever we were on the phone with them that we didn't say anything to give anything away! But, 3 weeks is a long time, and there was no way we could keep it a secret from everyone for that long! We told Tyler and Jackie the next day, who were so excited for us! They even took us out for desert! having them be happy for us was really great, and I appreciated it SO MUCH! We also told our friend Daniel, who was equally as excited! He gave one of the best reactions we got from any guy! :) I also told a woman in our ward, the amazing Andrea Kunz, who spent 3 hours with me the day before going on a trip with the family to teach me the basics of Digital Scrapbooking, and teaching me how to use Photoshop Elements!! I used my newly aquired skills to put together a scrapbook page of each of the grandkids to put into a book, the last page being a picture of Aaron and I you can see below. THANK YOU ANDREA! She's an amazing teacher. :)

The day finally came when it was time to say goodbye to our home in Manassas. It was a bitter/sweet time for us. We hated having to say bye to the friends we had made, the palce that had been our home for 4 months... but we were also excited for all that waited us back in Canada. After getting ourselves into a car accident 5 minutes while on the road home (lol, that's a story for another time) we were on our way to Aaron's house, arriving right at dinner time! The whole family was there, with Holly (my sister-in-law) starting to show off a cute little baby bump! Aaron asked her if she was peeing a lot these days, to which she said yes.. then Aaron says, "Yeah, Rachelle has been too." Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at us, unsure of if Aaron was joking or not. Then Holly asks, "Is Rachelle pregnant too?" I started shaking my head yes, and began crying. lol Lots of hugs and congratulations! They were very excited for us, and it felt good to have been able to tell them in person!

I think it was the next day we went down to Kitchener. I hadn't gotten to albums put together, so I decided to show them the pages as a slide show. Once I finally got everyone together, we went through the pictures. My sister-in-law Heather was standing right behind me, and when I got to the last picture (the one of Aaron and I) she immediately grabbed my head and squeezed it (I think it's because she was excited. haha) I started crying again. More hugs and congratulations from my family and the MacRae's! I felt so relieved that they knew! I even got to tell my friend Jenna Howey that night when she had stopped by! I emailed the slide show out to all my siblings, and talked to each of them that night--some were shocked, others not so much (like my sister Tami) but everyone was of course--happy! :)

I'm so grateful to have this blessing of being pregnant! I'm so grateful that everything has gone well with the pregnancy, for the support Aaron and I have been shown, and just for this amazing experience! I'm so grateful to be married to Aaron. He's such an amazing husband, and I know he's going to be an amazing daddy! There are some days I'm in shock still, even being 35 weeks pregnant, and can't believe I'm actually going to me a MOTHER. There are days when I think, "Yikes, I'm not ready for this, let's try again in a year or so." But mostly my days are filled with excitement, and I can't wait to see her, to hold her and care for her, and to have her be part of our eternal family!! :)